for some reason when i’m feeling down, lonely, sad, under-the-weather {take your pick}, i feel like spewing my insides out onto paper. letting them rest there and then pulling them apart, rearranging my thoughts until they feel right again. unfortunately lucky for you, it tends to be spewed out all over you. thanks for commiserating 🙂

as always, the stupidest part is, i have NO. REASON. TO. FEEL. THIS. WAY. {1}

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do you believe me when i tell you that i’m still mopey about school starting 3 WEEKS AGO? yeah. i’m that mom. i think i’m losing friends over that fact. i can almost hear them thinking in their heads *shut. up. already. get. over. it. this is how life works. duh.*

and though brutal, mostly true. and so, let’s just say i’m still working on accepting the fact that our free-flowing life now has a little dent in it called school. and that now, when i finally get turbo in my clutches, he’s happy to see us, but he’s also exhausted from his day. exhausted from listening and learning and being attentive {ps. thanks for telling me 5 year olds can actually get high on new-found independence} {2}

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or maybe it’s that i was horn*assaulted this morning as i dropped turbo off.

…like 30 seconds extra parked there was gonna kill ya buddy?  seriously. lay off the horn, or at least the anger that left you too busy honking at me to wave at your ADORABLE little boy 2 feet away from you on the curb. sad. {3}

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or there’s always lingering homesickness. always. {4}

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heard enough whining yet? yeah, me too. because all of it sounds pretty pathetic when i re-read it, and maybe that’s why it helps. because i can look up at the words above, read them and think, *you know. that ain’t that bad. my life ain’t that bad. in fact, it’s everything BUT bad.* {true story}

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let’s do a gratitude flip*flop. if you’ve read my blog long enough, you know nothing, NOTHING helps me feel better more than that!

{1} whining : i started out feeling sad/bad and i’m already feeling better. thankful for YOU who read my whinings tonight! grateful for mind*dumps.

{2} school : i have 2 happy, healthy, smart, kind little boys who love school. who don’t cry when i drop them off. who squeeze me tight when i pick them up. i have an equally happy, healthy, smart, kind baby girl who i get to spend more quality time with 🙂

{3} horn honker dude : thankful, i’m not too busy to hug/kiss/wave my kids goodbye. thankful, i don’t have anger management issues. thankful, i know who NOT to park by at drop-off now, haha!

{4} homesick : so very thankful for *home* {because in my heart, montana will always be *home} thankful we have family, friends there that love us, and welcome us, and make it worth visiting, and staying awhile…

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thank you for reading listening. for letting me hurl my crudy-ness onto your lap. i’m feeling better already. it’s also nice to note that tomorrow is a new day, and {i can’t resist} the sun will come out tomorrow!

betting my bottom dollar *