a missing blankie & a test

tonight, i’ve set up shop in sweet pea’s room to write this post. as i type, she lays in bed struggling to fall asleep {it’s 10pm…ugh}. she’s been fighting through a cold accompanied by its ally, the fever, all week.

{please enjoy my amazing photography. in a barely lit room. with an iPhone. yeaaaaaaaaah.}

despite the fact that she’s sick, that’s not the reason she can’t sleep. you see, her source of all comfort, her sleeping partner in crime, her blankie is missing.

well, not missing-missing.

we know right where it is. traveling to the *far airport* {as her brothers have labeled it} on it’s way to pick up her grama and papa. unintentionally of course, i realized the blankie was MIA 20 minutes after the van pulled out of the drive way. to which i instantly thought something eloquent like, *oh. crap.*

so much for that early bedtime i had hoped for.

instead, tonight turned out to be a test.

i pray for patience often, and we all know how that goes. you pray for patience, and you can bet your butt God’s going to send you down some good old fashioned tests. He’s going to test that patience you’re so eagerly striving for; you know to see how it’s going.

tonight, the missing blankie was not only a test for sweet pea {could she fall asleep without her blankie to sniff? she’s a blanket sniffer from waaaaaay back, but that’s another story.} but also for me {would i lose my cool before i got her to sleep?}

can i tell you something?  i nearly failed.

nearly.

can i also tell you, semi-confidently, that i think i might have passed the patience test this one time? {glory. somebody give me a high five and shout hallelujah! because i can tell you, i fail more than i succeed.}

i started out compassionate, giving her substitute blankie options {to which she wanted no part of}, singing 4 billion songs at her request, letting her get up to get a snack {that may have been a pushover move}, singing more, and laying in my bed with her…..for 45 minutes.

FORTY-FIVE MINUTES.

this is the part where i nearly failed the test. my patience started to unravel. i started to lose my cool. bedtime had gone from a 15 minute process to an hour and 15 minute process, and the steam was building. my thoughts churned hot something like this:

i have THINGS to do. IMPORTANT things. you know, like, the house needs picked up girl, and um, i wanted to scroll through instagram, annnnnd sketch, and blog. {yes, folks, i’m sorry and embarrassed to admit those were the thoughts, the SELFISH thoughts i might add, that nearly threw me over the edge. that actually do throw me over the edge some nights 🙁 }

but as sweet pea started crying {think real crying. like alligator tears, gulping for air crying} because i wouldn’t stay in her room any longer, it clicked. the patience i’d been praying for clicked! and just like that, i decided not to be such a selfish, hardass with a to-do list that was more important than my daughter, and instead, practice that patience that God so lovingly placed inside of me in answer to my prayers. the patience that was just waiting for me to use when the time was right. and hark!…

…the time was right!

…and i acknowledged it!

…and for once, i was victorious over irritabliity and selfishness!

…and i was patient! {one of you mama’s out there wants to shout, *glory!*}

in that moment, i picked up my laptop, my memory card, and my water and boogied upstairs to be the comfort sweet pea needed when blankie was missing.

and that was a super long post that could pretty much be summed up as:

me: 1, impatience: 7,425

but it’s a victory none-the-less, and i’ll take it.

and good news. after all that, sweet pea’s finally asleep.

g’night friends *