love through thick and thin

it’s come to my attention {if i’m honest, it’s been sitting in my subconscious for quite some time now} that my blog posts have become few and far between. i don’t like that. not one little bit. part of it’s from the busyness that comes with the life of a stay-at-home, homeschooling mama, and part of it is because i feel like i’m getting lazier {Lord help me}, and the last, well never mind…

the point is: tonight, i blog just to blog. to get some of my thoughts out on paper. if you make it through, then bless your heart. it’s going to ramble and wind, it may or may not tie together, but i can promise you as always, it will be honest and heart felt and true. and hopefully funny every now and then because who doesn’t like to laugh? {put your hand down…}

sometimes it’s nice to just sit down with no agenda and just write. pouring out my muddled thoughts on paper to separate and puruse through until they’ve been sifted and sorted into neat piles before shoving them back into my brain for another time and place. it feels good. like therapy to me. and something i need to do more often.

if it’s possible for a day to be both fun and rough, well then, today was it. breakfast with santa, a party at the park, a surprise camel ride to fulfill sweet pea’s Christmas wish {unplanned. a wonderful surprise for us all}, lunch with friends, but tucked within the fun was an irritable mama and some crazy kids and a husband that was not along for the wild ride.

i’ve got news for you: flying solo while irritable is not fun.

but maybe you already knew that. and yet, we smiled, and laughed, and enjoyed.

and even still, as the day progressed, the angry pull of mr. irritable got more intense, and thus, here i sit. in a coffee shop that i call my own, on my own. the banter of the other customers is a soft lull compared to the craziness of the circus when i left the house and the hum of the espresso machine and Christmas carols in the background is all i needed to loosen up from a crazy day of being a mom.

did you know it’s hard to be a mom some days? {*shock*} and brilliantly amazing on others? do you ever wonder how it’s possible for one day to be awesome, and the next you’re pulling your hair out by the roots and resisting the urge to run into the closet, hide under a pile of shoes and scream into a sweatshirt? how you can love little people like crazy, like crazy-crazy, like your heart is going to burst with love crazy, only to find yourself hours later counting the minutes until your significant other arrives home to which you’ll kiss him, tell him you love him, wish him good luck and good bye, and PEACE THE HECK OUT!… how is that possible?

it makes me wonder if our heavenly Father ever looks around, and though His heart is wrung with love for us, He may {just maybe?} feel like pulling out some of His own heavenly hairs, wondering why we choose to make the same bad choices over and over and over…and when will they learn? i can almost hear Him say…………the difference between His love and our own is that He will never say good bye, but always hello. He doesn’t need a break from us. His love is eternal, never ending, never stopping. the proof is in the Christmas story. the birth of His Son. a sacrifice. for us. now, that’s love.

and, i guess that’s the crazy thing about love, whether it comes in perfect form from the good Lord or imperfectly from us mama’s to our children, we love through thick and thin.

and that was a long, LONG way of saying today was both thick AND thin.

and that i’m thankful for my kids. and for my me time. and for a God who loves me and my children {and you!} perfectly when we cannot.

and also that being a mom is hard. and fun. and sometimes they come wrapped together.

ok, they come wrapped together most days.

but i’m sure you already knew all that.

blessings & cheer *