charley turned 5 this week (for you long time blog readers, i’m transitioning to real names in lou of nicknames. charley = sweet pea). i’ll leave the somewhat redundant, yet all too true, “i can’t believe it” statements on the curb. just know that i can’t. as fellow mamas and daddys out there, i know you understand this feeling all too well. our babies…well, they aren’t any more. tear.
as i was painstakingly wrapping presents the night before…at 11:00pm, like all good, prepared and organized peoples…i realized i overkilled the present purchases again.
every. single. year. birthdays, Christmas and otherwise, i do my very best to reign myself in. to not go overboard. my kids, after all, have everything they could possibly ever want or need, and while i want them to feel special on their special day, i also don’t want to raise up spoiled, entitled children. yet, inevitabley, the night before whomevers birthday, i end up coming to the realization that “oops, i did it again” – too many presents.
wrap. wrap. wrap.
i continued wrapping that night. thinking about the presents. it’s really not about the gifts from the givers perspective. it’s about knowing how excited the receiver will be. about seeing her face glow when she sees what we picked out for her. the way her eyes will light up. the big grin. the giggles. that’s why i get out of control. that’s why i buy too many. i want to see the joy spread across her face from cute little ear to cute little ear.
wrap. wrap. wrap.
the pondering of present purchases continued as i folded yet another piece of pink paper around one of charley’s gifts. mid-cutting and folding and taping, a bible verse popped into my mind, seemingly out of nowhere (hey, God!), and it made me smile,
now, i know this is not earth shattering theology, and i’m 100% sure i’m not the first person to pair this verse with a similar situation…but i couldn’t help but share it just the same. because as i rolled the verse around and around my mind, i found myself picturing God, sitting in heaven, holy and righteous and in all His glory, thinking something like this,
“man, i love these crazy people. they mess up all the time. they choose the world over me 9 times out of 10. they can literally be a hot mess, throwing tantrums when they don’t get their way, and making selfish decision after selfish decision. but…did you see their faces light up when they saw My sunset tonight? did you hear the whispered prayers they’ve tucked deep in their hearts? do you see the joy spread across their faces when they love one another? and they look so darn cute doing it. man, they may not deserve all that i’ve given them, but i just can’t help myself…i just love them so doggone much.” (*rains down more blessings*)
i’m sure He says it all just like that too. (ha!)
i just can’t help but feel my heart smile and get all warm and fuzzy inside when i feel the joy i have in giving “good gifts” to my children knowing that God feels that very same way towards me…but amplified, on an awesome, God-sized scale. and He feels this way not just towards me, but towards you. towards all of us.
if that doesn’t make your heart smile, you should probably go check your vitals or something.
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happy birthday charley claire! what a blessing to be your mama, love you to heaven and back.