i’ve been 2nd shooting weddings with a photog friend of mine this summer, and after each wedding, i’m reminded why i don’t shoot them on a regular basis.
it’s not because of the stressed out brides.
or the pressure.
or the work.
it’s because of the dances.
in particular, the mother-son dance, and the father-daughter dance.
before i had my own kids, i never understood why people were so emotional at weddings {generally speaking, i’m not an emotional gal. i don’t cry at the movies or watching tv shows or reading good books, it’s just not my thing.} so i never *got it* when people cried at weddings. in my mind : weddings were happy. period.
and then i had kids.
and now that i have my own kids, things are different.
i get it.
i get why the mama’s are crying and the daddy’s are tearing up. because i’m right there with them eyes brimming with tears for the future. thinking of the day when i’ll be in their position, dancing with turbo and sunshine on their own wedding day, watching lover sweep sweet pea out onto the dance floor at hers. sending them off to begin their own stories separate from our own.
and i can tell you right now, i’m going to be the mama in a puddle of tears {mom, how did you hold yourself together? patti? anyone?} i’m going to be useless, filled with happiness and joy, and yet, immense sadness. because while i absolutely, without a doubt want that happiness for my children, at the same selfish time, i want them with me. now and forever. and always. because as that well written book says,
*i’ll love you forever, i’ll like you for always, as long as i’m living my baby you’ll be.* {robert munsch, i’ll love you forever}
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those are going to be joyfully, hard days to endure when i hand off my babies.
and that is why i don’t do weddings…
…much.
Amy - Ugh, I totally get what you’re saying. I almost cried just reading this post and thinking about the day my son gets married (which won’t be for years… he’s only 1). I feel exactly the same way you do.
Kayla Gylland - Stacey- you took my thoughts right out of my head. I was just thinking about this the other day. How fast my kids are growing up. Before I know it they will be in high school, getting married and having babies of their own. I just want to be able to snuggle them and read books to them ever night as long as I live. But unfortunately I know that is not possible. I just asked my three year old the other day if he could just stay little forever. He looked up at me with his big blue eyes and said “Mama I got to get big” and I said “I know” with tear filled eyes. I guess that is why I never “wish” for the next big thing to happen. Like when people say. ..”I can’t wait til they are crawling, or talking or starting school”. I just try and enjoy today because I know my todays will soon be yesterdays and I can never get them back.
Stacey - …I am gonna be a weeping mess…just yesterday Mac & I were talking about the boys growing up and starting high school and then graduating and I starting crying about that…in the car…about something that is not gonna happen for another 5 yrs from now…yep…that’s me…a weeping mess…so we can cry together…
Your Mama - You pretty much told my story at your wedding. For me it is when all is said and done and I am sitting alone with only my thoughts and the knowing that, even though it will be good, it will never be the same! But for the record, it has been good, because I love you and your beautiful family!
Patti - Don’t ask me… I am crying as I read this!