give yourself credit

i’m sitting in my bed. the lights are dim and the house is quiet except for the hum of the heater, and the hushed voices of three little bodies curled on the floor in a heap of blankets, pillows and “stuffies;” dark shadows huddled on the floor in a last-night-of-vacation sleepover of sorts. a last hurrah before we jump back into school in the coming week.

as i sit here and type, i overhear their conversations. it’s funny, when cloaked in the night’s darkness, it’s as though i’m not really here, and i’m able to listen to their conversations, unedited.

tonight, for some reason or another, turbo is brimming with love. he continues to profess his love for his brother, his sisters, his family, but is quick to emphasize that no matter how much he loves them, he doesn’t love them more than he loves God. which turns the conversation to kid-size theology, discussions about the holy spirit commence and are followed by sweet pea begging turbo for a hug to which he says, “yes, of course,” and asks her if she loves him more than her baby. because after all, her baby’s just a toy.

the subject shifts to plans for tomorrow. riding bikes. building something-or-other. boxing. making a trap. important kid things.

more hugging.

i hear a tiny voice, “thanks for the cake owen.” sweet pea, thanking owen for the cake he made today.

more, “i’m glad you’re my brothers and sisters,” escapes each of their little mouthes.

as i listen to all this oozy, thoughtful, thankful, lovefulness, i can’t help but wonder…what’s different about tonight?

i’d be flat out lying if i told you every night, or day for that matter, were like this. more often than not, it’s the exact opposite. there’s fighting, and whining, and crying, and “he hit me’s,” and, “she called me stupid’s,” and, “he doesn’t like my drawing/writing/scootering’s ((insert noun or verb here)).” etc. etc. etc.

but tonight? as i sit here and listen to their bedtime chatter, tonight is one of those nights where, as a mama, you feel like you’re winning.

it’s a teeny, tiny glimpse into the people they are turning out to be; the people they will become. at least, i hope that’s what it is; a window into the deepest parts of their little hearts. perhaps proof that they do hear my words when i feel as though they’re falling on deaf ears.

and so, though it doesn’t happen often that they are so mindful of one another, so caring, loving and thankful; tonight, i’ll take the win.

and when this happens to you, please take your win and run with it!  you deserve it.

we mama’s don’t give ourselves enough credit.

cheers loves *