i’ve been torn between making this a positive post and writing about how i really feel. in lou of going all negative nelly on you and/or avoiding how i’ve really been feeling, i’m compromising in the hopes that you’ll come back again. here’s the thing. lately, i’ve been…

…discouraged.

the source of my discouragement comes from a handful of things, but i’ve plucked out the one that seems to stand out amongst the crowd. and surprisingly? or perhaps not, my source of discouragement stems from : inspiration overload.

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isn’t the internet an amazing tool? i would have KILLED to have all this information literally at my fingertips when i was in school. think how EASY writing reports would have been, no lugging around those blue encyclopedias {you know you know what i’m talkin’ about!}…my arms wouldn’t have looked quite as toned had i had the internet though :0)

i don’t write school reports now, but i do look to the internet for inspiration, creative ideas, posing for photography, the latest DIY etc. i’m sure you’re all on pinterest, or follow other blogs, or facebook pages with pretty spreads…i know i do. usually, i look to these sites and individuals for inspiration. for motivation. for encouragement. but lately? lately, instead of being inspired by all these creative sources, i find myself feeling discouraged. not necessarily comparing myself to these people {bloggers/photographers/moms}, but if i’m honest, i kind of am.

i find myself wondering how they do it all, how they seem to have all their sh*t together when i don’t, how they can even make TIME for projects much less blog about them, how they get a business plan together and run it smoothly when i can’t even put together a coherent meal plan for the week, how they seem to be awesome moms, awesome business women {or men}, and awesome wives. all. at. the. same. time. awesome. awesome. awesome. and pretty soon i go from feeling discouraged to feeling inadequate. ugh.

{wow, don’t i sound like a bundle of joy!}

to combat this inadequacy and feelings of discouragement, the internet and i are taking a break. to see other *people*, other sources of creativity. like perhaps, uh, myself? like the good old days. i’m going old school yo. i’m busting out my sketch book more and jotting down my ideas more and doing projects more. and while i’m grateful for the inspiration i can draw from online, right now i need to draw from everything around me. in the real world.

yes, that’s it. less worldwide web and more. real. world.

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my feelings of discouragement got me thinking about my blog, and i feel compelled to point out that i’m not perfect {it’s feels presumptuous to say that, but how else to word it?…just know i’m not!}, and i’m not naive enough to think these bloggers/photographers/moms i mentioned above truly have it all together. because no. one. does. read that again.

no. one. does.

not me, not you, not that gal/guy down the street. sometimes though when reading blogs and facebook pages and websites, it’s easy to think *wow, they really do have it all pulled together…what the heck am I doing??*

here’s the thing…i don’t want anyone who reads THIS blog. MY blog. to ever. EVER. think that i have it all together. i don’t ever want anyone to read my blog and feel discouraged because it appears that i’ve got everything pulled together and suddenly you feel like you don’t. because guess what?

i’m just a normal mama of 3 crazy kids, who currently has 3 loads of laundry that have been waiting to be folded for 2 days sitting on the guest bed, and dishes in the sink because i chose a donut and coffee outing this morning instead. a mama who loves doing project play with her boys, but spends 1/2 the time telling them what they CAN’T do {you should see the outtakes…that’s a post all on it’s own!} i just don’t show you this side of me because laundry doesn’t make me happy. neither do dirty dishes or sweeping my floors or cleaning my bathrooms. just know that i do ALL that stuff. that, though i love my kids, sometimes they drive me crazy. and sometimes, i don’t fold my laundry as quickly as i should.

i’ve been feeling so discouraged, i guess i was just getting worried that my blog might give that same feeling of discouragement to others. to you. and that’s not what i want. nobody deserves to feel discouraged. we are all unique. we all have our own lives. our own ways of getting things accomplished. our own list of priorities. of the things that matter most to us. in our own ways, we are all awesome.

i want to encourage our awesomeness. inspire it. find joy in it. that’s what i want my blog to be…

…a joy.

xoxo,