inadequate, yet well equipped

i laid in the grass tonight staring up at the sky as the scorching sun finally tucked itself on the far west side of our arid mountains. the few stars that adamantly pushed their brightness through the city lights of phoenix shone bravely above, while wispy puffs of clouds hovered over the half moon, veiling it, but not completely. a single bird flew by, heading home to it’s nest for the night, and the calm and peace of what could only be God washed over me, covering me completely.

i needed that.

boy, did i need that.

it has been a long day. a long day of wondering if i am enough. a long day of discouragement, and set backs, and frustration. and i was reminded that though we often paint a pretty picture of our lives, they are simply not ever perfect, and today was insanely far from it.

it was a day of, what am i doing? what am i doing wrong? WHY WON’T ANYBODY LISTEN TO ME?!

a long day of feeling inadequate. and ill equipped. and under qualified. and who signed me up to be a mother anyway?…..

and it was that last question that gave me the answers to all of my questions.

who signed me up to be a mother?

my answer, of course?

God did.

for each mama out there including myself, being a mother is our calling. whether we like it or not {and for the record, i almost always like it…}, we are CALLED to be mothers.

on days when i struggle, it’s helpful to remember that God himself called me to this place. that He himself thought i would be the best mama out there for my 3 children; better than anyone else in the world. EVER.

wait. what’d you say?

this is where i’m supposed to be, and i am the best mama for my children. ever. {say it with me now. i know you have hard days too…}

i am the best mama for my children. ever.

God called me to this place. this position of mother. and He will equip me with the tools that i need to be successful {hebrews 13:21}.

what a relief.

will i still have hard days? yep. will i still have days where i feel inadequate? you bet. but we can find solstice knowing that though we are inadequate, we are well equipped by a God who loves us and has our plans laid out for us {jeremiah 29:11}.

{ps…apparently, i really am well equipped to run the circus, baha!}

thank goodness *